Sexy times? Perhaps not so much...

[impulsereader]

Those of you on my flist who may run across this and don't do the sex thing in fic - I'm really sorry. I promise this isn't going to be a regular thing. Also, there is no actual dirty talk in this entry, just talk about how I'm attempting to type some dirty talk.

An hour before I'm obligated to post this thing I'm realizing a couple things. One: I should have stayed closer to my wheelhouse and knocked out a John/Sherlock piece despite my natural disinclination to go there. Two: I need to throw the practicalities out the window. Normally I'm big on covering my ass motivation-wise - explain how and why he went into that room, don't just pop in for no reason. This, however, is not sexy. I'm 1000 words in and they're still fully clothed. Spending the next 500 describing the disrobing isn't really the point. The motivation is that they would like to have sex now please and thank you. End fancy stuff. It's pornography. It exists to be titillating. I've done more than I needed to do by holding off on the porn for almost 1000 words.

I really should have quit when I typed in the joke and couldn't stop snickering...I do, however, feel I am being taught a valuable lesson in writing smut.

Comments

[winter-hermit.livejournal.com]

Smut is seriously HARD. I almost joined Come if Convenient (for the name alone, really) but didn't trust my ability to produce anything in that area on demand that would be worth reading.

But trying to balance things making sense with things being erotic... trying to figure out when to be detailed and when to let the reader fill in the blanks... how to make something that is, in broad strokes, pretty similar to all sorts of other things already written in a way that makes it seem new and interesting... I tip my hat to good porn writers, because that shit is difficult.

Good luck finishing the challenge!

[impulsereader.livejournal.com]

I wholeheartedly join you in the tipping of hats! Thank you for your good wishes. I posted in time a piece which has a beginning, middle, and end. Further than that I can only aim to do better next time. :-)

It was a really weird experience, actually. I just kept sort of typing a bit and then mentally leaning back and thinking, 'Oh good, now there will be porn.' and pretty much waiting for it to materialize on my screen magically without my having to do any of the work. :-P

[f-m-r-l.livejournal.com]

You may have noticed that whenever I try to write smut it always turns out wrong. You don't know exactly how wrong it can go as there's one story on the kinkmeme that I will never, ever publicly claim. But I think the best compliment I've ever had on one of my sex scenes was "...what's even more disturbing is that it turned me on."

I'll be back at work on the vampire candy cane smut for you soon.