(no subject)

ETA - Hm.  This was meant to decorate your friends pages, but it just ended up entertaining them.  Note to self, just because fonts paste properly into visual editor, they do not actually post properly.



Well, okay, well there’s, uh, there’s sixteen seats, so say two to a seat –

They’re good friends, these otters?

Let’s hope so. And one in each overhead compartment.

Always remembering to open them with care, because otters may have shifted during the flight.

And one under each seat?

Yes, good thinking!

But that’s where the lifejackets are.

That’s all right: otters can swim. Now, how many in the galley?

Um, four on the floor, two on the worktops? Well, it depends – are we carrying Carolyn and Arthur?

To wait on the otters? I think that would be an indulgence, frankly. I think we’d be better off replacing them with more otters.

So thirty-two in the seats, sixteen in the overhead lockers, sixteen under the seats, six in the galley … fifteen in the hold?

Oh, twenty easily, and six or seven in the aisle.

Call it seven.

So that’s what? Ninety-seven – and three in the flight deck! A hundred!

Brilliant!

No. Not in the flight deck.

Hypothetically.

I don’t care how hypothetical it is, I’m not flying with a live otter in the flight deck!

I don’t see why not. Historically, very few hijackings have been carried out by otters.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think the Civil Aviation Authority would be too keen on the idea.

To be quite honest with you, Captain, I don’t think there’s a whole lot about this plane full of unsupervised otters the CAA is going to love.

Excerpt from Ottery St Mary which was written by John Finnemore.