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impulsereaderWriting. Christ. No, I'm not writing actual Christ, though I have been listening to JCSuperstar. Just - Christ, writing is weird. And John's soldierly language has infected my brain for the duration of the current fic.
I don’t think I’m capable of writing something that isn’t funny. Or at least that I think is funny; humor being subjective. This latest fic I’m working on – almost finished thank goodness – looked like it might come close. It has some really serious physical whumpage going on and wasn’t really lending itself to more than gentle humor in the other sections either. But I just put in more funny. I mean I’m almost done with it, I’m reading it through for the gazillionth time, and I’m putting more funny into the first page. I don’t know why, but making the story funnier doesn’t seem like it should be the priority. I mean, my whole next paragraph is about how my whump should really be better than it is. Oh well, in the end I’m still just transcribing for whatever is feeding the ticker tape into my brain, after all. Whoever this invisible being is, he or she believes him or herself to be fucking hilarious.
On a related note, whumpage is hard to write. Writing action scenes is really difficult with all of this having to convey motion and who is doing what to whom when and where, and honestly I feel like I’m choking and cheating my way through this first one. I feel like I’m going over and over tweaking it, but I’m just working until it’s done well enough that I’m willing to let people read it, but I think it could be a lot better; I’m just not capable of making it better yet – I’m not good enough at this yet. I’m still sort of adjusting to the fact that I can and do write at all so the fact that I’m not actually very good at most of this is perfectly fine. I’m teaching myself to write by writing. Hopefully, I’ll get better.
Unfortunately, the prompt prompting all this whump was the one I was hoping to do the most justice, because it’s a great, great prompt, basically – BAMF!John will not stop until Sherlock is safe – great prompt, right? And it comes from an actual dream, which I always love to see. I dreamt about Sherlock last night but it wasn’t particulary pleasant, prompty, or memorable. I want prompty dreams, dammit! So the only problem with this awesome prompt is that it requires a huge degree of whump, because in my head John is pretty damn competent. So to get him to the point where he’s just spent is bordering on ridiculous. And the prompt requires Sherlock to be there – around abouts being dragged around by the baddie – so I had to whump him too, because that’s the only way he’s not coming to John’s rescue somehow.
And my Sherlock feels off (please read as petulant whine). Ha, just read that and it sounds like I’m complaining about a body part. My Sherlock aches whenever it’s going to rain. It’s never wrong.
Right, anyway. As I was piecing this thing together – smash up kink meme prompts all forced into one narrative – I realized it made sense thematically for this to be post Reichenbach and post Reunion. I don’t know what post Reunion Sherlock sounds like. Post Reunion John I’m hearing pretty much the same as pre Reunion John. But post Reunion Sherlock, my brain seems to be insisting, is going to sound slightly different and 9,000 words later that’s how he is in this story. He’s – his speech is more formal? I don’t even know. He’s just different, but that’s the way the tickertape says he sounds post Reunion; and I don’t know if I like that. Maybe I’ll do a read through focusing on tweaking Sherlock just a touch back to normal. Maybe I need to ground myself in Known Sherlock and try to channel him into the story. On the other hand, I start the whole thing off with John telling us that post Reunion Sherlock is more subdued. Guh. It took me typing that out to realize that this is why my Sherlock sounds different. Seriously brain? Seriously? I had to type all this out to understand why I wrote 9,000 words the way I did? I’m lucky it only took another – checks count – 701 more? This is what you’re telling me? I’m going to give up speaking and thinking completely. I will communicate with myself and others strictly through the medium of keyboard. Clearly it is the only way I understand anything which is happening to or around me. This is completely ridiculous. I do feel better now, though.
I don’t think I’m capable of writing something that isn’t funny. Or at least that I think is funny; humor being subjective. This latest fic I’m working on – almost finished thank goodness – looked like it might come close. It has some really serious physical whumpage going on and wasn’t really lending itself to more than gentle humor in the other sections either. But I just put in more funny. I mean I’m almost done with it, I’m reading it through for the gazillionth time, and I’m putting more funny into the first page. I don’t know why, but making the story funnier doesn’t seem like it should be the priority. I mean, my whole next paragraph is about how my whump should really be better than it is. Oh well, in the end I’m still just transcribing for whatever is feeding the ticker tape into my brain, after all. Whoever this invisible being is, he or she believes him or herself to be fucking hilarious.
On a related note, whumpage is hard to write. Writing action scenes is really difficult with all of this having to convey motion and who is doing what to whom when and where, and honestly I feel like I’m choking and cheating my way through this first one. I feel like I’m going over and over tweaking it, but I’m just working until it’s done well enough that I’m willing to let people read it, but I think it could be a lot better; I’m just not capable of making it better yet – I’m not good enough at this yet. I’m still sort of adjusting to the fact that I can and do write at all so the fact that I’m not actually very good at most of this is perfectly fine. I’m teaching myself to write by writing. Hopefully, I’ll get better.
Unfortunately, the prompt prompting all this whump was the one I was hoping to do the most justice, because it’s a great, great prompt, basically – BAMF!John will not stop until Sherlock is safe – great prompt, right? And it comes from an actual dream, which I always love to see. I dreamt about Sherlock last night but it wasn’t particulary pleasant, prompty, or memorable. I want prompty dreams, dammit! So the only problem with this awesome prompt is that it requires a huge degree of whump, because in my head John is pretty damn competent. So to get him to the point where he’s just spent is bordering on ridiculous. And the prompt requires Sherlock to be there – around abouts being dragged around by the baddie – so I had to whump him too, because that’s the only way he’s not coming to John’s rescue somehow.
And my Sherlock feels off (please read as petulant whine). Ha, just read that and it sounds like I’m complaining about a body part. My Sherlock aches whenever it’s going to rain. It’s never wrong.
Right, anyway. As I was piecing this thing together – smash up kink meme prompts all forced into one narrative – I realized it made sense thematically for this to be post Reichenbach and post Reunion. I don’t know what post Reunion Sherlock sounds like. Post Reunion John I’m hearing pretty much the same as pre Reunion John. But post Reunion Sherlock, my brain seems to be insisting, is going to sound slightly different and 9,000 words later that’s how he is in this story. He’s – his speech is more formal? I don’t even know. He’s just different, but that’s the way the tickertape says he sounds post Reunion; and I don’t know if I like that. Maybe I’ll do a read through focusing on tweaking Sherlock just a touch back to normal. Maybe I need to ground myself in Known Sherlock and try to channel him into the story. On the other hand, I start the whole thing off with John telling us that post Reunion Sherlock is more subdued. Guh. It took me typing that out to realize that this is why my Sherlock sounds different. Seriously brain? Seriously? I had to type all this out to understand why I wrote 9,000 words the way I did? I’m lucky it only took another – checks count – 701 more? This is what you’re telling me? I’m going to give up speaking and thinking completely. I will communicate with myself and others strictly through the medium of keyboard. Clearly it is the only way I understand anything which is happening to or around me. This is completely ridiculous. I do feel better now, though.
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no subject
Date: 2012-05-20 07:24 pm (UTC)The humor is funny - yes, I went for it - because the show is funny, but a lot of the time I'm not putting it in for that reason, it just comes out - funny funny funny (or at least, hopefully) - as I type. I guess I'm lucky when it ends up lining up with the show's humor.
Yes, the hurt is definitely only there for the comfort afterward. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. I'm also having qualms because I sort of want it to be believable whump? I'm not even sure how to put it. I want the characters to ring true and I want the story to (mostly) make sense and fill any plot holes that I possibly can. I acknowledge that my villains so far are laughable cardboard cut outs but that's because I don't care about them in the least - I'm there for Sherlock and John. So I care about the whump not only working for the reader, but if I have John getting knocked around and not getting up again I want to make sure I've done enough damage to him for that to be realistic.
I sound like a complete nutter. Only in fandom do you have a conversation like this and not get locked up.
I know nothing about fighting or the technicalities of the human body - I have never even had a broken bone - so there is virtually no way this whump is going to be realistic. There is only so much the internet can teach you. I just have to accept this, I think, and give John my sincerest apologies for making a doctor think/say ridiculous things about the state of his injuries and as a soldier for making him fight like - an amateur? a girl? I don't even know. Considering I'm beating him up, this is probably the least of his problems with me...
Ahem. Anyway, thanks for stopping by and reading that bizarre entry. Getting feedback on it was both surprising and really great. I am still dithering over the whump but am happier with it now and hope to post the story in the next day or two.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 02:43 pm (UTC)Ha. I must be a nutter too, then, because it all sounds like perfect sense to me. ;D
Aaand... *flails and makes grabby hands for your new story* I'm going to read it, just as soon as
people stop changing their mind about logos just as I'm FINISHING said logoRL hands me a break. :)no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 04:48 pm (UTC)